its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
