You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
We need to rekindle our bromance
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
