This girl is more easily done than said...
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
