What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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