Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i already hear my dad disowning me
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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