Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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