walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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