My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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