He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
