Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just googled if crying burns calories
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize