I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
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