if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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