my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
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