What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
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