Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
