We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
