Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
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