i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
