i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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