It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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