i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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