when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
