Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize
