Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Randomize
