Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
