i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
