is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
