I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
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