i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
