He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
