to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Randomize