Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
