She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
