I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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