yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
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