The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Randomize
