i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
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