Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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