I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
