why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize