In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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