We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
