im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to coat check the pizza.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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