Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Randomize