highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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