Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Randomize
