Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize