Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
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