a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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