Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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