I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
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