Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
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from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
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It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize