he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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