I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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