I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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