Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
