So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
