the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Holy sore nipples Batman
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
