So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
