Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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