omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize