so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
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