you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
