i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
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