I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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