batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
