i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
